ᴊᴀᴄᴋsᴏɴ ᴡʜɪᴛᴛᴇᴍᴏʀᴇ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
illtempered) wrote2019-10-18 04:45 pm
illtempered) wrote2019-10-18 04:45 pm
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ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ғᴀʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ sᴏʙ sᴛᴏʀʏ ᴀ ɢᴜʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴇʟʟs ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ✘ inbox
( video | voice | text | action )
un. whittemore
( video | voice | text | action )
un. whittemore
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[ to be fair, Regina's tried to kill her before, too. but it's different, being the person who was targeted and hearing about it from someone else - someone who's just a kid himself. she doesn't like where this is going.]
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( But they still killed him. )
I rose up a full-werewolf after, and I reluctantly let Derek teach me 'how to werewolf' before I moved. ( And he was stubborn, and had compartmentalized everything. ) What happened to me isn't his fault.
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[ family sure as hell doesn't kill each other. even if they come close sometimes.]
Help me understand. Why do you really want to do this?
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( With Kyle it's all too close. It burned brightly, but it's hard. Hard to maintain and to keep and to let go. )
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she tenses visibly at the explanation, nodding her understanding since words would either come out defensive or hurt, and that's more vulnerability than she's willing to let anyone see when he's already shut her down. but after a moment, after seemingly let the words sink in, she continues.
it's fine. not like he's family to her, either.]
Then I guess you have to do what's best for you.
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( He's not lost to her reaction. He's not heartless. He doesn't mean to hurt her. None of this is about her, or about Bellamy. How does he come out and say that they are like his family. That they've become like his family. That he cares. )
I don't know anything here. I haven't fulfilled my contract, any contract, only my quota. And that's with someone who could get me arrested. I - I don't know how to do any of this, Emma. You - you are, okay. You're like family, but if I let myself think of you like family -- I'm not always a good person. ( He's spiraling as he tries to come up with the proper words. ) I need to get a better - foothold. I need -- ( He just shakes his head slowly, back and forth, not really knowing what it is he needs. Or what he needs to say, or what he can say. )
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[ it's a long, painful story. more importantly, it's hers, when she thinks they need to focus on what he's going through right now. but the point stands - whatever they've offered him, it isn't dependent on him being a good person. she and Bellamy have both had moments where they were anything but.]
You have time to find a contract, and as far as quota - is this a designation thing?
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( Dominants. )
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[ maybe it's more than he wanted to know, but it shows what the city prioritizes here.]
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[ she's seen people get citations for publicly being with another person of their designation, but not as often as he might expect.]
If you're with someone of your designation, I think what they want is for you to be discreet about it, and to be willing to sign a contract.
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[ and be careful about what he agrees to in public.]
You'll need to sign a contract, but you have time. Bellamy's initial three months were almost up when he asked me. It happens.
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I know that sometimes when people reach out, it's not what you want, or what you can handle.
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[ or, knowing Jackson - who says it did?]
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[ she could be done there, but - ]
You'll get your shit together. Just try to remember, you have people. You don't need this guy. And if you join his pack, if you decide that's what's best for you...don't do it because you have to.
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Want me to make popcorn?
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( He lets her get up to fret in the kitchen before he calls out. )
Emma. ( And he turns, an arm along the back of the couch. ) Thank you.