ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ғᴀʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ sᴏʙ sᴛᴏʀʏ ᴀ ɢᴜʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴇʟʟs ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ✘ inbox

[illtempered]

( video | voice | text | action )
un. whittemore

Comments

[illtempered]

I don't know if it's best for me, or if it's going to take me back to a darker place I left behind.

( He's not lost to her reaction. He's not heartless. He doesn't mean to hurt her. None of this is about her, or about Bellamy. How does he come out and say that they are like his family. That they've become like his family. That he cares. )

I don't know anything here. I haven't fulfilled my contract, any contract, only my quota. And that's with someone who could get me arrested. I - I don't know how to do any of this, Emma. You - you are, okay. You're like family, but if I let myself think of you like family -- I'm not always a good person. ( He's spiraling as he tries to come up with the proper words. ) I need to get a better - foothold. I need -- ( He just shakes his head slowly, back and forth, not really knowing what it is he needs. Or what he needs to say, or what he can say. )

[sheriffing]

You think I'm always a good person? Jackson, when I was your age, I was just released from prison.

[ it's a long, painful story. more importantly, it's hers, when she thinks they need to focus on what he's going through right now. but the point stands - whatever they've offered him, it isn't dependent on him being a good person. she and Bellamy have both had moments where they were anything but.]

You have time to find a contract, and as far as quota - is this a designation thing?

[illtempered]

Yes.

( Dominants. )

[sheriffing]

When Bellamy and I contracted, I had a thing going with another dominant. We were pretty public about it, and aside from a few disapproving stares, no one ever stepped in.

[ maybe it's more than he wanted to know, but it shows what the city prioritizes here.]

[illtempered]

So, no one is going to break down my front door and take me to the People Zoo.

[sheriffing]

No. And even if they were cracking down, they'd start with a citation.

[ she's seen people get citations for publicly being with another person of their designation, but not as often as he might expect.]

If you're with someone of your designation, I think what they want is for you to be discreet about it, and to be willing to sign a contract.

[illtempered]

Really. ( That's more than he knew before. He's going to sit now, beside her and just - lean forward, clasping his hands. )

[sheriffing]

We've always gotten by on the appearance of compliance. You'll have to keep that in mind.

[ and be careful about what he agrees to in public.]

You'll need to sign a contract, but you have time. Bellamy's initial three months were almost up when he asked me. It happens.

[illtempered]

I know. ( He looks over to her. ) I'm sorry for what I said before. I know you're there. You're here.

[sheriffing]

It's okay. [ and it is. it would be even if he meant what he said. he's not obligated to care about her just because she decided to care about him. everyone's just trying to get by here.]

I know that sometimes when people reach out, it's not what you want, or what you can handle.

[illtempered]

I used to think I could handle anything.

[sheriffing]

What changed?

[ or, knowing Jackson - who says it did?]

[illtempered]

Nothing. Everything. ( And nothing all over again. ) I need to get my shit together. Thanks for listening.

[sheriffing]

You're welcome.

[ she could be done there, but - ]

You'll get your shit together. Just try to remember, you have people. You don't need this guy. And if you join his pack, if you decide that's what's best for you...don't do it because you have to.

[illtempered]

( He nods. ) Do you think we can find something on TV that isn't pornographic?

[sheriffing]

[ she reaches forward for the remote to pass it off to Jackson.] I think we might manage a whole movie without any awkward porn scenes.

Want me to make popcorn?

[illtempered]

Sure. Salt.

( He lets her get up to fret in the kitchen before he calls out. )

Emma. ( And he turns, an arm along the back of the couch. ) Thank you.