You randomly hit on him here, in a place like this. Out of nowhere. You had months, but really, you had years. Except, you were afraid.
I was unaware. My one goal was always being the best. I was the best student, the best athlete. The best boyfriend. Except, I was a shitty boyfriend and I only had Lydia because it meant I had a girlfriend. She's brilliant, even to this day, and I recognized it. I think a part of me cared about her, but there was a bigger part of me that cared about winning and getting better. It was only after I stepped back, moved away from everything I knew, and went into mandatory therapy that I started seeing that.
I was mean, but I was also cruel. I had one friend, who I think just liked me because we'd always been friends.
Look, I don't usually say all this crap, but I want you to see that being a bully, or shooting your shot in a fucked up city, it happens. You're not alone here.
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Date: 2019-11-15 08:20 pm (UTC)You randomly hit on him here, in a place like this. Out of nowhere. You had months, but really, you had years. Except, you were afraid.
I was unaware. My one goal was always being the best. I was the best student, the best athlete. The best boyfriend. Except, I was a shitty boyfriend and I only had Lydia because it meant I had a girlfriend. She's brilliant, even to this day, and I recognized it. I think a part of me cared about her, but there was a bigger part of me that cared about winning and getting better. It was only after I stepped back, moved away from everything I knew, and went into mandatory therapy that I started seeing that.
I was mean, but I was also cruel. I had one friend, who I think just liked me because we'd always been friends.
Look, I don't usually say all this crap, but I want you to see that being a bully, or shooting your shot in a fucked up city, it happens. You're not alone here.